Marriage – headship

After a wife’s husband went on the men’s retreat and learned about headship; she had a question for me. She wanted to know what she should do when he doesn’t do what the family head is supposed to do.

Have you ever noticed that some marriages seem more like sibling rivalries? You can almost hear them now … “She’s on my side!” “He got more than me!” 

A marriage that works operates differently. Instead of rivals they need to operate as allies. Think of countries – what do allies do? They assume the best, forgive a lot for the sake of the relationship, come to the other’s aid, and talk early to avoid misunderstandings. 

So, if his headship misses the mark ….  

Assume the best, forgive him and talk early (before the hurts build on each other). Even Superman couldn’t handle hurts piled on top of each other! And be sure to talk carefully – the way allies work out their differences – so no one “loses face”. 

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